apologies

[low_delta]

I never could understand why it was so difficult for people to apologize. Just say you're sorry (and mean it) and let's get on with it.

I've recently discovered one reason that I think gives people trouble. Sometimes I just want the trouble to disappear, and I hope that the offended person was not *very* offended, and I don't want to bring the matter up and emphasize it.

Comments

Apologies

[penpusher.livejournal.com]

As is the case with just about all behaviors, apologies must be learned. And, especially in our society, apologies are treated as something bad, so they aren't taught by parents, frequently.

It starts with the egos of small children in nursery school. Two kids want to play with the dump truck. One knocks the other one over and gets it. The other cries. Apology? No. Life lesson. Be faster, more aggressive to get what you want.

In fact, frequently parents teach their kids how "bad" it is to have to say they are sorry. Sometimes, there's an effort to try to prevent kids from making mistakes... having them be "perfect." Working around kids as much as I do, I've seen this in action, and it can possibly lead to some serious problems later.

You're right about some people not wanting to continue to bring up issues. However, if the issue hasn't been resolved, it's still right there, in the mind of that other person, waiting for an answer. No matter how matter-of-fact that other person is, it's there.

I would say I was one of the "perfect" victims, (a mild case) and it took a long while for me to get over the mistakes and be able to say I'm sorry to someone for something I did wrong. I was a struggle, and can still be, at times. But the effort is always worth it.

Re: Apologies

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there's all that too.

[ravengirl.livejournal.com]

i used to (and sometimes still do) OVER apologize~
i know people who NEVER apologize but claim they realize they aren't always correct or right~
i don't get that~ they never SEEM to be "wrong" in their eyes~
*sigh*
weighty worldly matters

[vlinker.livejournal.com]

perhaps, some folk really aren't sorry?.....

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

I think there are many cases, where they are sorry, but are hoping the other poeple don't remember, and doesn't want to remind them.

Re:

[vlinker.livejournal.com]

yeah, it's too bad too......because lotsa people never forget.......