Back to reality

[low_delta]

I had the whole day to get stuff done. I hardly got a thing done. I didn’t pay my bills. I didn’t organize my papers with my new filing cabinet. I didn’t wash my dishes. I didn’t do any laundry. I didn’t go over to play with Will (but he wasn’t home anyway). I didn’t go grocery shopping. I didn’t write the Shadowrun adventure we’re playing on Wednesday.

Where the fuck is my life? I haven’t been this bad in a long time.

First of all, I didn’t get out of bed until, what was it? I don’t know - 11:00 or something. That’s understandable since I didn’t get home until very late. Then I spent the early part of the day here at LiveJournal. Then I switched off. I didn’t do anything. I wandered around the house telling myself I should do something. Then I decided to check e-mail. Then I wandered around the house telling myself I should do something. Then I decided to check e-mail. Then I made some dinner that didn’t turn out very well. Finally, I sat down to pay the bills. I had so much unopened mail, that I didn’t even get through everything on my kitchen table.

We always say that friends are the most important thing, but when I spend time with them, and my bills don’t get paid, and the late fees and finance charges rack up, it’s really a no win situation - except maybe for the friends. Maybe.

I’d like to blame this LiveJournal addiction, but it has only replaced other hobbies - which I’m disappointed that I no longer take part in.

So now I go back to work tomorrow. I can only hope I will be able to have some semblance of concentration.

Comments

I know how you feel

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

I've been like that somewhat myself lately. The only thing I can tell you is that we can't always be productive and responsible. Sometimes we just have to be a little lazy, no matter how our intentions might be to the contrary. Sometimes we have to lower our own self-expectations and give ourselves a break.

I haven't gotten nearly as much done as I would've liked to the past two weeks, and it's frustrating. Then again, I enjoyed myself more than I have for a long time, and that's worth a whole lot. Fortunately for me, I still have two days off and they're only partly filled by time with The Kid. I can still get some stuff done. It's kind of a reprieve. If I'm *still* unproductive, I'll probably be disappointed, but I refuse to beat myself up about it.

Here's hoping you can focus on your job!

{({({({(freekee)})})})}

~Seren

Re: I know how you feel

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

But I can't just give myself a break. I haven't paid my Visa bill on time in so long, that I've blown well over a hundred dollars on late fees and finance charges. Who the hell has a hundred and fifty bucks lying around, that he can just drop in the garbage can? I've got friends that dream of saving up that kind of money to buy something they really need. I'm getting by, but jeez. WTF?

I mean , I appreciate your symapthy. Thanks. But cutting myself the slack is what got me into this mess.

Re: I know how you feel

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

Hmm, well that Visa bill does sound pretty bad. I must admit that's one thing I haven't let go. Although I do have a dear friend who consistently runs up late fees and finance charges and has simply shrugged it off as a price of using credit (surely not your or my take on the matter)!

OK, how about this, just take care of that bill, take charge of your finances, and promise yourself it won't happen again. Prioritize: financial matters are more important than doing the dishes. Then forgive yourself: we all screw up like that some times.

Yeah, what she said!!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

You definitely need time for you...(and even if you put in just a little bit of money paying visa, it helps...don't get in the hole too far, it could take a long time to dig out.) Maybe you could declare National Freekee Gets His Groove Back week, where You unplug some of the social stuff, (even us if you have to) and spend a week catching up, resting, and taking long bubble baths to make the hard obligations easier...Sometimes, a man has to do what a man has to do...*bubble bubble fizz squeak the ducky bubble bubble*

Okay, maybe you can nix the bubble bath, but I wouldn't...
Ms Mausi, been there myself, be strong, sir...give yourself the gift of time...:)

thanks but...

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

As far as the Visa bill goes, I can pay it, I just never do...

As far as the rest goes, I can't take time off from doing all this stuff, that's what got me into the mess in the first place. All of the things I started off complaining about here have deadlines. Deadlines of right this minute, actually, and I only got most of it done tonight (thanks to a special person's moral support). And I have a whole lot more that I need to do, that I didn't mention, that doesn't have deadlines.

I take so much time out to do the stuff I want to do, that I never get the important stuff done. I know that playing is important, but I can't play if I let this stuff go.

It is a vicious circle. The more I let that stuff go, the harder it is to enjoy myself. The less I enjoy myself, the harder it is to get anything done.

Re: thanks but...

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

sounds like a metaphorically long sidewalk to shovel...

I'm sorry, Kev...*pat pat pat*

Ms Mausi

Re: thanks but...

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

I tend to be exactly the same way, except for the Visa bill. Still, people like you and me *can* learn discipline. As I've said many times before, it's all a balancing act. If I take too much time off from the responsibilities, not only do I miss deadlines, but I feel so guilty I can't fully enjoy the fun. On the other hand, if I focus too much on the responsibilities, I feel resentful, plus my friends and I start to miss each other. So, I learn to balance, sometimes leaning toward one side, sometimes toward the other. As a kid I had a Bongo Board and now I have the Bongo Board of life! (I'm also learning the art of bad analogies.) So, whatever you do, Kevin, please know that I do understand this particular struggle all too well. Don't know if that will help any or not, just thought I'd share it.

((((Freekee))))

Re: Yeah, what she said!!!

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

Hey, what do you mean, even us if you have to! Hrmph, speak for yourself, Ms M, no one's unplugging me. Um, er, that didn't come out right, nevermind.

Uh oh!!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

...so i shouldn't unplug the Box that goes...ping?


Ms Mausi...eek ekeek, getaway, I gots snowballs!!

Re: Uh oh!!!

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

No, we're making quite a lot of money by using it, what with the leasing arrangements.

PING!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

heeheehee...

ms Eff.