stress

[low_delta]

What is it about moving that causes stress for some people and not others? And why is the split almost always along gender lines?

I helped my friends, Phil and Laura, move on Saturday. Phil was a bit worried, when we started loading, that we wouldn't get everything in one truckload. That was all. Laura was so stressed when she got up in the morning, that she became physically ill. Shortly after we started unloading the truck (first load) she and I went to pick up the pizzas. I assured her that everything was going very well, and that made her feel better. By the time we unloaded the truck completely, she was so stressed out that there was nothing I could say to make her feel better. She would barely acknowledge that I had spoken. Phil was so sick of her constant negativity that he was not very careful of what he said to her, and that didn't help her stress level any. Throughout the move, Phil was busy and he didn't have time to be very laid back about it, but I wouldn't say he had a high stress level.

What was Laura worried about? That things would break? That things would get lost? That she wouldn't be able to find anything for a week? That she was going to be unpacking for a week? I mean, yeah, those things are all true, but why get upset about it? Just deal with it. Like when we were loading the truck, Phil was worried we'd have to make two trips, but all we could do was load it the best we could, and hope. Which translates to: keep working and don't worry about it.

And why are the women like that, and the guys like this?

Comments

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

If this is true, that such worry tends to be split along gender lines, it might have to be due to what one author calls the "third shift" - a woman's inner dialogue that often second guesses her decisions and actions in both her personal and work lives.

From the book cover of Michele Kremen Bolton's _The Third Shift: Managing Hard Choices in Our Careers, Homes, and Lives as Women_: "...today's professional women work three grueling shifts: a first in the office, a second at home, and a psychologically relentless third - the inner dialogue that continually questions the choices a woman makes on the home-front and at the office."

The insidious "third shift" is all about self-doubt as opposed to self-awareness or self-confidence. I think it's a circular thing in that it is both stressful and brought out by stressful conditions such as moving. And I think in our culture it's still true that women more than men tend to plagued by self-doubt. And, finally, I think that remains a dichotomy in the socialization of girls/women vs. boys/men. It's changing, but sometimes change can be slow.

Did that make sense?

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

I think what Ser said is true, at least for me. I also think there's an element of a person feeling as if their home is an extension of themself. Laura showed some of that when she took offense at the jokes about leaving her stuff on the curb for the garbage men. She had several people handling her stuff, and possibly judging her by her stuff. There may have even been a feeling of violation of her space. Also entering into that is the feeling that a person's home is their anchor, their security, their spot...when that is being permenantly moved some place else, they are running the risk of not feeling safe and at peace anymore.

..

[whorlpool.livejournal.com]

Moving stresses me out like nothing else does. Nothing. NOthing nothing nothing else.

HELP!!