low_delta: (smartass)
April 26, 2006

WASHINGTON, DC—Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Stephen Johnson apologized during a press conference Tuesday for what critics called "flagrant oversight and neglect" in monitoring ground- and tap-water quality across the United States, claiming that his department was unaware that citizens were still consuming it. "I can honestly say we had no idea that anyone used faucet water anymore," Johnson said. "Bottled water, sure—I have some here on the lectern. But if there really are people out there still drinking tap water, all I can say is you're better off not knowing what's in there." Johnson added that official EPA policy is that Americans should stick to sports drinks.

..

Date: 2006-04-26 04:43 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] whorlpool.livejournal.com
The Onion?

Date: 2006-04-26 04:45 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] low-delta.livejournal.com
Of course. :-)

Date: 2006-04-26 05:31 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] mummm.livejournal.com
I'm just not used to your Onion quotes. I read this and just about freaked out!
Oblivious aristocracy. "Let them eat cake!" I want to see some more Marie Antoinettes get beheaded.

I am in desperate need of getting over this stressed-out temper-tantrum state of mind. Where do I go? Who do I blow up?

(Not just reacting to your post. Reacting to life in general.)

Date: 2006-04-26 12:47 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] marswalker.livejournal.com
lol... that's a good one.

The sad part is... with this administration... it's believable.

Date: 2006-04-26 07:42 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] ravengirl.livejournal.com
...this IS the onion...right? 'cause goddam.

Aw, man...

Date: 2006-04-26 08:10 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] msfledermaus.livejournal.com
I thought you were dead serious at first until I saw everybody quoting the Onion...

*shudder*

Not that it changes the fact that I'm still afraid of what's in my tap water:(

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