the right to hurt oneself

[low_delta]

Where does our responsibility to our friends and loved ones end?

If someone is engaged in behavior that is harmful to him, is it our responsibility to try to persuade him not to continue? Is it none of our business? If someone kills himself, is that none of our business?

How far does one go? Is it enough just to make him aware of the detrimental effects, or should one try to actively dissuade him? Does one have any right to bring it up in the first place?

Comments

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

There are varying answers to this depending on what the harmful action is. If someone is choosing not to use a seatbelt or a motorcycle helmet, then that's one thing...if they're victim of a serious health threatening addiction, then that's another thing....or is it? Or how about the situation where the person is wasting the precious low amount of money in the family budget on "toys" like electronics or unnecessary clothes? Yeah, when do you keep your mouth shut, when do you step in, and when is intervention a life-saving act?

[beckmermaid.livejournal.com]

Letting them know you care IS your responsibility as a friend. Making him aware of how you feel about the situation might help both sides.

Ask a hard one, why don't ya?;)

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Ouch...

That is hard, because there really is a dividing line between giving someone the option to sink or swim on their own and watching them drown, or helping them...and helping and helping and helping... Personally I'm pretty damn bad at that line, usually on the helping side, which makes me frustrated and feeling bitter. I do agree with the guy on the bottom that it's important to tell your friend that you're worried and you care, and that you think he's hurting himself or herself. Part of friendship is gently kicking them in the ass when they need it. (Gently!)

Like I said, take my advice with a grain of salt, I'm not so hot at this myself, so how can I tell someone else what they should do?

Love, Ms Mausi.

yeppers...

[shoo.livejournal.com]

I am on the side of letting them know you are there and you care....

I have a sister who used to threaten to kill herself on a regular basis...she even tried to kill herself with my gun while she was staying with me.....
There is NOTHING else I could have done for her at that moment.....
If she wanted to do it, she would have....
She did not....and to this day she still talks about it....
I refuse to play that game with her.....
I used to care more, and tried to help her...
She dosen't want help....
I have actually become almost numb to people who want to hurt themselves after awhile....
I guess I am just frustrated..
maybe I just don't understand.....

self abuse/suicide

[(Anonymous)]

This is an ethical dilemma that therapists face everyday. Usually self mutilation and self destruction are cries for help, attention, and connection. These people are ofter turning their problems inward and against themselves rather than the outside world (as in the case of violent, frustrated people that hurt others). Many people would like to be rescued from themselves as they are either very lonely, feel socially unconnected, isolated, or unimportant to others. People can reach out and ask about how one is feeling and attempt a connection with them in order to help them relate to themselves and others in a more connected way.