My Wife Dumped me for a Guy Named Jesus

[low_delta]

Hail Mary, full of grace
Your boy kicked me in the face
He made my wife run away
for a big promise on Judgment Day
My wife called me a sinner
I guess I'll be fixing my own dinner
Now I'm left with pain and loathing
caused by a wolf in Messiah's clothing

My wife dumped me for a guy named Jesus
Now I see a cross and I fall to pieces
It hurts to say his dad's name when someone sneezes
My wife dumped me for a guy named Jesus

Do you think you're such a big shot raising people from the dead?
Or a sleight of hand with a loaf of bread?
You're a second-rate magician with everlasting life
whose latest trick is my disappearing wife

I'm as good as that guy named Jesus
I could cure a cripple with a prosthesis
And I can walk on water when it freezes
I'm as good as that guy named Jesus
And Jesus better watch his back...


This song originally appeared on the TV show, Exit 57.

Comments

[marswalker.livejournal.com]

I've never been married, but Jesus did hit my car, once. I'm glad he was insured... it cost a couple grand to have it repaired.

[roadskoller.livejournal.com]

That is hi-larious.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

I'm sure there are those who find this *way* sacreligious. I feel that one could look at these words as being said by a real stupid person.

[flurgh.livejournal.com]

I'm sure there are those who find this *way* sacreligious.
That would be most of the people living in the town down the road from me. They even throw an anti-Halloween event, and on Halloween they hand out toothbrushes with little tags attached to them that say "Brush away your sins. Come join us in worship.." I can't quite remember what else it says, but it's quite funny and scary at the same time. I might go try to find one of these toothbrush peddlers this year. The message might be more stern since Halloween falls on a Sunday this year.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Now *that's* a scary Halloween party!