Brian

[low_delta]

My cousin wasn't able to make it. He said he couldn't afford it but was going to try. He was supopsed to receive a check, but it never came. His mother said she would help him out with the money, but Brian's wife said no. That if they didn't have the money he couldn't go. She keeps him on a short leash. Most of the time that's a good thing.

Brian was the most broken up of anyone. He really should have been there. He wasn't able to attend his grandfather's funeral because his wife was having her first baby.

After it was too late, she apologized for not letting him come.

Comments

[gr8cpa.livejournal.com]

Whoa. She made a big mistake. Something like that can cause permanent damage to a relationship. I would never do that to Ray.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

I don't think it will.

[emschin.livejournal.com]

That is one of the meanest things I've ever heard! Does she often control him so that he can't be with family?

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

No, she's not like that. Brian's mother told her when the got married that she need to keep him under control, and I think she was right. I'd guess that this time she just got bound up some of their rules, and she lost sight of the important thing.

[shoo.livejournal.com]

Boy that's the shit that people don't forget.
Sounds like she needs a lesson in life and feelings. I wonder how she would feel if the tables were reversed.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

As a first-time-pregnant woman myself, I can understand her feelings. If she's close to giving birth, no wonder she wants her husband around. And if they don't have the money, they just don't have it.

I mean, I see the point of needing to attend one's grandma's funeral. Definitely think he should have been able to go (if his mom was serious about helping with the money). On the other hand, I feel for a frantic first-time mom who is very worried about cash.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

It was when grandpa died, fifteen years ago, that she was having the baby. Nobody questioned it then. This time it was grandma, and the only excuse was the money.

Actually, Brian's sister just had a baby about three weeks ago, and she wasn't able to attend. I was a little surprised, but not enough to question it.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

It was when grandpa died, fifteen years ago, that she was having the baby. Nobody questioned it then. This time it was grandma, and the only excuse was the money.

Ah, I see. I was confused.

Maybe it's just that I'm the daughter of an accountant, but I see money as a significant obstacle to things :)

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

I've never seen money as much of an obstacle, but then I've never had any serious financial difficulties. The trip should have cost him less than two hundred dollars - $70 for a motel room, and a few tanks of gas. But I guess that's more money than they had. The sad thing is that they were offered assistance, and she refused. One of those rules that she didn't realize until too late that it should have been broken.

The problems I see a lot that are caused by money are the marital ones. Money problems cause stress, and marriages that are having other stresses fall apart due to money problems.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

The problems I see a lot that are caused by money are the marital ones. Money problems cause stress, and marriages that are having other stresses fall apart due to money problems.

True. I think also that money problems cause differences that might easily be overlooked to come into sharp relief. E.g. one spouse may like to spend money on food, the other might like to spend it on clothes. In prosperous times neither would care, but when things are tight, every time one spouse buys something the other finds "Frivilous" tensions mount...

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Good point.

Fortunately, the Bush initiative on families will provide couinseling and mentoring to help families through crises like that.