friends

[low_delta]

inspired by something a friend wrote.

It's about getting together with friends... or not.

Bill: Emmett's not coming. :-(
Me: Oh. *shrug*
B: It's not disappointing to you?
M: It would have been nice if he'd shown up, but it's no big deal. It will still be a nice time.
B: So you don't really care about your friends?
M: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
B: I invited Emmett because I wanted him here. He's my friend, and I wanted his unique presence. You don't seem to care about your friends.
M: *shrug*

I don't live and die over what others do. I enjoy their company when I can, but if they find it more important to be elsewhere, then that's their problem. To feel otherwise seems selfish.

I realized then, that my friend was upset when I had other things to do that I thought were more important. The way I always looked at it, why would anyone care whether I showed up or not. I come when I can, and enjoy myself, but I never felt that anyone would be upset if I weren't there.

Comments

[lonita.livejournal.com]

I get disappointed when plans can't go the way I'd like them to, but I don't obsess over the lack of presence of others the way I once did. I am not the centre of their universe. Their presence is missed, but they have lives that don't include me. It's not a question of whether or not whatever they do instead is more important, that's not my business, there are all sorts of reasons why they may have done something else. That's fair. I'm not going to angst about it. It does not mean that I don't care about my friends, though. I do care, very much, or they wouldn't be my friends.

Possession does not equal friendship. Nor does constant attention and presence.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Occasionally, I'll have an event planned that requires certain people, or a certain numberof people. Then I'll get mad if people don't show. And I get annoyed if people cancel at the last minute, or just don't show, when they assured me they were coming (I feel that you should do what you say you would). Other than that, I feel the same way that you do.