in answer to a question

[low_delta]

That question being:
For those of you who wax your eyebrows to shape them, or who wax your legs, I continue to assume that you do it for *you*, for how you want to look. But do you often notice that other women would look better if only they waxed their eyebrows (or their legs)? Do you even notice their eyebrows? If you wear makeup, do you notice women that you think would look better if only they wore makeup? If you color your hair, do you think that woman over there who doesn't color her gray really should? If you highlight your hair, do you think that woman over there with plain brown hair could look so much more attractive if only she highlighted hers?

I much prefer the natural look. I seldom see a woman who is wearing a lot of makeup and think that she looks good. Of course I mean noticeable makeup - a makeup job that looks very natural is likely to look good. (I hate that pink blotch of blush high on the cheek.) Makeup that covers freckles is disappointing. Blue or green eye shadow is just wrong. My mom wears that.

But then when I decide how good someone looks, I do it in terms of their look. If what someone has done with their makeup and hair and outfit works, it generally looks good. At that point, I usually can't even compare it to another look. Given the choice, however, I still prefer the less-made-up look.

But some of the issues are harder to reconcile. Though I prefer the natural look, some natural looks are farther from the societal norm, and I have more trouble accepting them.

If Nicole Kidman showed up in a strapless evening gown and unshaven armpits, I would probably be turned off. With normal women, though, armpit hair doesn't usually bother me. Unshaven legs bother me a bit more. Big, shaggy unibrows bug me a bit too. Balding guys usually look fine. I don't understand why that's such a turn-off. On the other hand, I perfectly understand why it bothers the guy.

But getting back to that "choice" thing, though I prefer women to have certain features looking attractive, I don't usually notice or care when they don't. I tend to accept people as they are. I mean, if she asks me which I prefer, I'll tell her, and will probably be aware of it when she doesn't look like that, for people I've never seen both ways, I don't compare because I've never seen them the other way.

Comments

[blonnie.livejournal.com]

i do pluck my own eyebrows, and i notice when others don't.. thinking that they'd look more polished.. and not 'clean' but.. hmm.. tidied up, if they'd pluck their eyebrows. like seeing a room that is clean and nice, but has stuff all over the place.. it would look much nicer if someone would just put things in their place :p
-
i do not like the armpit hair on women.. i don't particularly care for it on men.. just cause i know it gets sweaty & stinky but i wouldn't -want- them to shave it because then i'd think that a man, w/all of his other hair, would look odd w/out the armpit hair as well. i mean, i wouldn't wanna run my fingers through it, but i wouldn't want it to be gone as well.

hairy legs on women: same w/the eyebrows.

i don't dye or streak or anything my hair, and i hardly wear any makeup at all. the only times i notice other peoples makeup are when they have too much on, or they have some little thing about their face that could be corrected, if only they'd wear their makeup just a tad different.

-blonnie-

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :-)

I wax my eyebrows, I think of them as if they were bonsai.

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

For those of you who wax your eyebrows to shape them, or who wax your legs, I continue to assume that you do it for *you*, for how you want to look.

Yes. Very much so, and only for that. Most men do not notice eyebrows. At all.

But do you often notice that other women would look better if only they waxed their eyebrows (or their legs)?

I notice eyebrows, don't care so much about legs. I don't often think that someone would look "better" if they waxed (unibrow notwithstanding - that has to GO, male or female - I find unibrow extremely and equally unattractive on BOTH sexes). With my friends that have black or dark eyebrows, I would like to see them waxed, see if that could get that Liz Taylor effect. I think it would look cool, but not "better" as in, "You're ugly now, you'd be pretty if..."

If you wear makeup, do you notice women that you think would look better if only they wore makeup?

I don't care about make-up. I wear it sometimes, but not all the time. I like it, I think it's fun, but I don't see it as a necessity. I look at some women who do wear it without fail and wonder what they'd look like without it, more than the other way around.

If you color your hair, do you think that woman over there who doesn't color her gray really should? If you highlight your hair, do you think that woman over there with plain brown hair could look so much more attractive if only she highlighted hers?

No. I recently stopped highlighting or coloring my hair because I started to feel really, really guilty about all those gallons of poison I've been washing down the sink since I was fourteen. A year ago, my answer might have been different.

Blue or green eye shadow is just wrong.

Yes, gods help us, it is. Sick and wrong.

With normal women, though, armpit hair doesn't usually bother me. Unshaven legs bother me a bit more.

I'm just the opposite. Leg hair doesn't trap stinky perspiration. However, I've known hairy women that smell a-okay, so I guess it's about hygiene and body chemistry more than it's about hair. Hairy legs don't freak me out anymore. I shave my legs because I like how they feel afterwards. For me, it's more about how they feel to me than how they look to others.

Balding guys usually look fine.

Hmm. Knowing that the whole attraction process, at the chemical, physical level, is more about selecting a mate with whom to breed than finding someone to relate to intellectually and emotionally, I beg to differ. The biological directive is to seek a fit mate. At the base level, humans respond to attributes of vitality, health and youth, such as good skin, a full head of hair, good teeth, and believe it or not, a nice ass (this is a throwback to cave days, you see). Over time, the intellect can start to override the biological directive, allowing us to become attracted to people that aren't firm and hale as a fresh peach, to see beyond the physical to the mind and spirit. However, nature did not program us, at a base level, understand, to find the balding head attractive. Same goes for the grey head, wrinkled, sagging skin, and other physical manifestations of age. These are all cues to the inner animal that the older person is not the prime candidate for breeding. It's probably much easier for a heterosexual male to accept a balding guy as looking alright than it is for anyone else. After all, he's not a prospective mate for you, no matter what his hair looks like. ;)

I've come to a place of being able to see the physical beauty in imperfections, in age, in people that don't have the most perfect features. Faces are so interesting, and so much fun to appreciate.

Re: I wax my eyebrows, I think of them as if they were bonsai.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

I've seen balding men that are very vital and "masculine". And hairy but wimpy guys. But like you said, there's no mating attraction there for me.

I guess the amouint of hair on women's legs might affect my impression. Cyn hardly gets enough hair on her legs for me to even see it. A medium amount doesn't bother me much.

Re: I wax my eyebrows, I think of them as if they were bonsai.

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

There are always exceptions, of course...and yeah, hairy wimps are everywhere. My friend Jackie's husband Stuart is a very attractive guy, for example. Fit, handsome, great personality. His solution to the going bald thing was to shave the rest off and go Mr. Clean. He wears it quite well. I do think he's and exception, however. Combovers, of course, are poison. *shudder*

[invisiblechild.livejournal.com]

My boyfreind and I had a deal:He would shave ALL his hair; legs, armpits and *cough* well, everything and I in return wouldn't shave AT ALL for FOUR months...

I couldn't do it. Neither could he.

I'de love HIM with or without hair. but loving myself is a lot harder. If I feel like I'm looking ok, I become more pleasant to be around too. The difference can be very small, so small that other people wouldn't ever notice it. But I can FEEL it.

And I do notice if other people are extreamly insicure about themselves... and it's never very attractive.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Insecurity definitely detracts from the "look".

That's a funny deal. Can I ask how long it was before you gave up?

[invisiblechild.livejournal.com]

Almost a month and by the end of that time I felt very disgusting. If I would have lasted the 4 months he would have HAD to shave, so he was *very* reliefed when i gave up.

[ravenfeather.livejournal.com]

Hmm.. unlike the other posters, I never wear make up, never color anything and only occasionally shave my legs. I am of native descent, and it may not be as much of an issue with me, because we just don't have much body hair. I have never had to shave anything but from mid calf down. I might have a different view on this if I had noticable hair.

I don’t notice hairiness in women or men as being something fixable to be more acceptable, and the same with make up. Being "manicured" always looks false to me no matter how subtle so I don't think of it as something that would make a person more attractive. I suppose because of my thought process on this, I am not the person to ask. *grin*

I find faces that show history, personality, quirks and markings wonderful to look at. Make up tends to be geared towards unnatural perfection, and I don't find that interesting.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

I agree with you about the unnatural perfection, except that I appreciate many types of beauty, natural or unnatural. :-)

And you opinion is just as valid as anyone else's.

[ravenfeather.livejournal.com]

I appreciate many types of beauty, natural or unnatural. :-)

Good point. *grin*

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

I'm glad this got wider coverage, even if you and others didn't really answer my question. I know many people like myself prefer the natural look, and I know many others prefer "cosmetic improvements." That's all well and good. But my question was: for those who prefer to wax their brows, use makeup, highlight their hair, whatever, do they find themselves loooking at other women and thinking "that poor dear would look so much better if she fixed herself up a little bit". I wanted to know if they even notice other women's thick eyebrows and think "ooh, she should wax those!".

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Seems like you've got some answers here.

Re:

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

Yep, and even those that didn't really answer the question were interesting. :)

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

:-)

[melonaise.livejournal.com]

I don't wax my eyebrows, but I do pluck them a bit-- I have a couple really stray hairs that look like misplaced eyelashes. ;) My boy, on the otherhand, has his own waxing kit. He REALLY likes a trim, arched eyebrow. And because of him, I've started to notice things a little more. To be honest it's a little intimadating, how much he notices on women and how he appreciates the polished look-- because I'm totally unpolished.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

What about you? Do you notice it on other women?

[attelage.livejournal.com]

>>But my question was: for those who prefer to wax their brows, use makeup, highlight their hair, whatever, do they find themselves loooking at other women and thinking "that poor dear would look so much better if she fixed herself up a little bit". I wanted to know if they even notice other women's thick eyebrows and think "ooh, she should wax those!".<<

Linking over from Raven's LJ (Hihi!)

I don't look for or at body or facial hair when I look at people, or makeup, or colored hair. I do notice when someone has lots of facial piercings, I even catch myself staring at them. And Tatoos. Sometimes I'll notice what someone is wearing and think to myself how great it looks on them, and other times I think they have a lot of nerve to wear what they are wearing in public.

I work at a Museum and when I'm not wearing any makeup people ask me if I'm feeling OK, that I look tired. The profesisonal standard there is makeup, otherwise you look sick and tired. If you're a woman. This one guy that works there shared with me that I looked much better when I put a little makeup on, I didn't look as though I wasn't feeling well. I commented back that I hoped his doctor figured out what was wrong with him soon and hoped he was feeling better. ;)

Now, I feel I need to wax my chin. The guys in my household think I'm nuts, but there are times I refuse to go shopping or out in public if I can't wax my chin first. It's an odd thing...I rarely have to shave my legs or shape my brows because I have little hair in those places, but my chin makes up for it. That reminds me, I'm almost out of wax. I tried that Australian stuff called "Nads", an all natural product, but here is Florida it's just too goopey to use in the summer.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

I work at a Museum and when I'm not wearing any makeup people ask me if I'm feeling OK

Maybe it is the lighting? Do they have harsh lights that make natural skin tones look washed out?

It's funny when concern for your well-being is a bad thing. :-D

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

when I'm not wearing any makeup people ask me if I'm feeling OK
Back when I wore makeup everyday, I got asked that question if I didn't wear it one day. Now that I never wear it, no one asks if I'm tired on any particular day anymore. They're used to me looking like this.