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I have some strong opinions about apologies.
To me, the most important thing is that the person apologizing means it, and they understand what they did wrong. This means that just saying "I'm sorry" isn't necessarily going to cut it. It might - it depends on this situation. It also means that they don't necessarily have to say the words "I'm sorry." The important thing is that I know they feel bad about it.
An apology that includes the word "if" is no apology. If you're unsure if someone was offended, you need to find out before you make your apology. Usually, the word "if" is used in place of the word "that." "I'm sorry if you were offended, but..." It's quite obvious that they're not apologizing to you, but expressing their disappointment in your attitude.
An apology that includes the word "but" is probably no apology. But sometimes an apology may sound like it includes a "but," when it really doesn't. I often explain my actions when I say I'm sorry. I do this because I want the person to know I'm not a complete ass. For example, when I had a thought process that included some faulty basis. Like, "I'm sorry, but so-and-so told me you liked that." I was going on the best information I had. Yes, the "but" diminishes the apology, but it also diminishes the severity of the offense (at least it would to me).
There are two sides to every affront. One needs to be sorry, and the other needs to forgive. These are both mostly internal.
To me, the most important thing is that the person apologizing means it, and they understand what they did wrong. This means that just saying "I'm sorry" isn't necessarily going to cut it. It might - it depends on this situation. It also means that they don't necessarily have to say the words "I'm sorry." The important thing is that I know they feel bad about it.
An apology that includes the word "if" is no apology. If you're unsure if someone was offended, you need to find out before you make your apology. Usually, the word "if" is used in place of the word "that." "I'm sorry if you were offended, but..." It's quite obvious that they're not apologizing to you, but expressing their disappointment in your attitude.
An apology that includes the word "but" is probably no apology. But sometimes an apology may sound like it includes a "but," when it really doesn't. I often explain my actions when I say I'm sorry. I do this because I want the person to know I'm not a complete ass. For example, when I had a thought process that included some faulty basis. Like, "I'm sorry, but so-and-so told me you liked that." I was going on the best information I had. Yes, the "but" diminishes the apology, but it also diminishes the severity of the offense (at least it would to me).
There are two sides to every affront. One needs to be sorry, and the other needs to forgive. These are both mostly internal.
