my dilemma

[low_delta]

The thing that makes it so hard to spend less time with Cyn, is that I want to spend so much time with her. I am very happy with her. I want to sit and talk with her all night. Or play a game, or whatever else it is that we do together. I just don't want to give up everything else in my life. I never have been that great at organizing my time, but I never thought I would have absolutely no time for solo leisure activities.

It disappoints me to have to spend one evening less per week with Cyn.

Is life supposed to be hectic? That sure is normal, but my life isn't hectic. I don't have a very little time for things, I have none. How can you be in a rush, if you're not around to do so?

I expect to give up some of my hobbies. I know some of them had to go just because of this computer and web site, but even this hobby has suffered.

Just in case any of you were wondering, this is all about me. Cindy is in no way clingy or suffocating or demanding. I know she wants to see me, and that is certainly fair, because I want to see her.

I realized, early on, that things would be much easier if we lived together. Now, for us to spend time together, it is a half hour drive, and it becomes an entire evening. If we lived together, I could do something on my own for a while, and we would still have a few hours with each other. So knowing that, makes it a difficult wait. It will be a few years.

Comments

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

"I don't have a very little time for things, I have none." Hey, you're sounding far too much like me now. I've had to give up nearly all my hobbies in order to spend quality time with The Kid. I gave up subscribing to magazines and reading the daily paper. I still cling to the hopes that I'll be able to read the Sunday paper, but damn, I might give that up, too. I gave up reading nonfiction books and on rare occasion am able to finish a short (under 300-page) novel. After my 3rd cat died I realized the time commitment pets require, and (at least temporarily) gave up pet ownership for the first time in 18 years. I don't take the time to really listen to music much any more. Etc.

All in all, I've learned to pare my non-library work activities down to the bare essentials: stuff that I need to survive (like eating and sleeping), parenting (which includes a whole lot of love and fun, as well as more responsibility and work), and a bit of relaxation with online and offline friends. All of this is probably a main reason why I have no interest in pursuing another long-term monogamous relationship. (Although my long-term long-distance relationship fits into my current life perfectly...) Right now The Kid simply comes first.

I guess it's all a matter of excruciatingly difficult prioritizing, really. Some of us have far too many interests for our own mental and physical health to adequately handle. I personally wish I didn't require so much sleep or so much alone time to recharge, but I do, and that's all there is to it. If I fight that too much, I get sick. So I guess I'm saying you gotta find your ultimate comfort zone - where you feel heathiest and happiest, with minimal frustration, resentment, and fatigue.

Does that help even a little bit?

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's good to have perspective. Thanks.

I have been doing the survival stuff, including chores like laundry. And my leisure time is not *completely* gone - I'm still on the internet. And of course, my time with Cindy is nice and relaxing.

You're right, it all comes down to time management. It is just so difficult because I have to cut out so much, and some of that is going to be Cindy. And that affects her.

At least I can read the sunday paper with her. ;-)

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

No matter what else you decide to give up, or put off until some other time, please promise me that you'll pay attention to your art, writing, and reading. Those things are refreshing to the soul. Give them top priority.

I don't know if this is motivation or not...but.....a creative man is a sexy man ;)

why the wait?

[shoo.livejournal.com]

call me silly, but is there a reason to wait?

Re: why the wait?

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

My kids attend a city-wide specialty school that requires them to live here in order to attend. Once my son graduates (3 years), then I'll be free to move out of Milwaukee if I choose to. Kevin likes living in Grafton and doesn't want to leave....and my house is too small for all his stuff. I like living in Milwaukee, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Re: why the wait?

[shoo.livejournal.com]

oh,
I figured it was something like that.


My heart goes out to you....

I had to wait 3 years for Sal to return from England...there were NO computers to communicate....
I figured after all that time of letter writing, we might as well get married...LOL!

Re: why the wait?

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Maybe in a couple of years, if I can no longer wait, I might consider moving in to the city. I can't really picture that, but like she said, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Ignoring the fact that we've only been dating 3 months....

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

Tell ya what....buy this house and maybe I'll move to Grafton today! ;)

Click here and then type in Propery ID No. M6685 (http://www.cbwisconsin.com)
Aww, come on, it's only $2,100,000. ;)

Want something cheaper in Grafton? Go to Property No. S290 for a mere $749,900.

I think I can do without the one bedroom place that I can actually afford. Propery No. C8223 for only $79,900.