time

[low_delta]

I had to tell Cyn I need more time to myself. I hope she understood. I really enjoy spending time with her - as much as possible, really, but I can't have a life of my own. There are so many things that I can no longer do. Like watch TV (not a huge loss), read a book, make a long thoughtful post on LJ, listen to music (*just* listen to music), write adventures fior my Shadowrun campaing, go out and take pictures, clean my basement, sit and stare, draw, talk to my friends. Some things I can do with her - or at least have her hang out with me while I do them - but I haven't figured out how yet. I really do enjoy being with her, but there is so much else I like doing. Even if she is the most important thing.

I don't know exactly how I am going to get time to myself. One more evening a week? I'm not sure how much time with her I want to give up.

Comments

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

This is a tough one. Those of us who get recharged by time alone *and* by time with the most significant people in our lives have yet another challenging balancing act. I hope you find that balance and I hope Cyn understands.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I think she does.

tough one...

[shoo.livejournal.com]

I agree with Serendipity...a balance is what it is all about.

I have no doubt that you will get there.

sometimes even one day makes the diffrence:)

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I thinkit's a good plan, and Cyn's an understanding woman. Just keep reenforcing the fact that you love her, and tell her if you don't get the time off she'll have to help clean your basement. (Hey, it wuld keep ME away...)

MS Eff, who cares. (((kev)))

[banana.livejournal.com]

It's hard to get this right. It could be worse: it's even harder with small children taking up your time.

There's a pretty big adjustment to make between being you (singular) and being you (plural). I bet you didn't have a lot of free time before you knew Cyn, and now you have more to fit in to the days. I don't know any magic way to sort this out. Good luck.

[ex-wing191.livejournal.com]

True.

I think one of the reasons that I stay up so late at night sometimes (going to bed between 12-1:30 regularly) is that that is the only time I can find to myself. With a wife and two kids in the house there is no time where I can just stare at the wall, read a book, watch TV, etc.

I sacrifice sleep for a bit of solitude.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Cindy is a morning person (she's up by 5AM), and I am a night person, so that thought has crossed my mind. We will always have some time to ourselves - that is, when we actually live together.

[banana.livejournal.com]

I do that too. Makes me grumpy from lack of sleep, so I need some more time to myself...   8~/

[ex-wing191.livejournal.com]

I'm really grumpy in the morning because I don't get enough sleep. I have to be careful because I'm liable to say or do something I regret during the first hour or two of the day.

[vlinker.livejournal.com]

Generalizing, I believe there to be two types of people; those who recharge with time alone (by themselves) and those who need other people about them to recharge. Hordes of people drain me and I need some time to myself to refocus......so, i am one who needs time to myself. Many years ago, when i had few responsibilities, a recharge day (what a luxury) was a day hike in the mountains above town.....after a while, i could not take as much time, so recharge time came as shorter, albeit steeper hikes. And when i really need to think, you can still find me on the mountain looking out at the world. It just helps to put things into perspective for me. But, i rarely have time to hike now, but i do have ways of getting the "me" time that i need. In winter, i will go x-c skiing at lunch. Nothing like doing 10-12 km on the trails at Kincaid to clear the mind. In summer, i ride my mountain bike. As long as i can get in some aerobic activity, i can stay sane and be easy to live with. I have learned that i can get my "me" time even doing activities with other people.....like riding up the biathalon hill on my bike.....it requires total concentration and every bit of strength i have to clean that hill.......and i just totally forget about the other riders.....Or floating to the takeout in my canoe on Eagle River......the rapids conquered once again....all the play waves played on.....the other members of the group, rafted together and talking, but me, off on my own.....floating......letting the current spin the canoe....listening to the hiss of the river.....enjoying those 5 minutes of solitude before taking out and loading up.....and then, of course, i get my daily "me" time in just singing along to the radio on the road home after work and then doing the dishes after dinner......

There are a myriad of ways to get your recharge time.....whether it be focusing on a piece of writing, doing the dishes to music, or remodeling the rock garden. I don't really know you very well, but it appears to me, that you and Cyn have something quite wonderful between the two of you. Do make sure your priorities are in order......

And best wishes......for the both of you.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your thoughts, Ed.

It's not a matter of recharging though. (At least I don't *think* it is.) I am perfectly happy with Cyn. It's more a matter of time management. I'm having trouble getting the things done that I need to do, let alone the things that I want to do.

I don't know. I suppose there's more to it than that.

Re:

[vlinker.livejournal.com]

i have a huge bag of things i want to do.....many of them, deferred from some time when it was impossible to do them.....even though i look thru the bag once in a while and toss some items to the wind, i know i will never get to everything in there.....(but i will never-ever pass up a grand canyon trip again).....