didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk to strangers?

[low_delta]

I've always felt that it was hard to talk to strangers. You know, striking up a conversation with people that are hanging out in your vicinity? I'm not talking about the difficulty I feel in starting it, I'm talking about the general willingness or ease of people to join you. What do you think?

I've also wondered if there is a difference from region to region. Today, I was talking to someone who is from here, but spent a couple of years in San Diego, and some time in various other places aroundthe country. She said that San Diegans are the most willing to talk with you that she had encountered, and midwesterners (Chicagoans, particularly) are the least likely to want to talk to others. Does anyone have an opinion about the regionality of this?

Comments

[ravenfeather.livejournal.com]

Yes.

*grin*

I have lived all over this country with the exception of the northeast, but I have visited there for months at a time. Of course the southeast is the most talkable.. unless you look oddball I have been told. Strangers keep up a running commentary with each other. It passes the time. Now, as far as the southern half of the US goes, the farther west you get, the less people will talk to you. When we lived in Colorado, I had been living in a house for seven months when I DARED to say hello to my next door neighbor.. she stopped stock still and got a panic look on her face, then went back in the house. I found that curious, so I started speaking to others around me, and the same thing.

This is excepting military, because when you are on a military base, EVERYBODY is in the same situation as you, and that is a connection. Military associated people talk to each other almost as much as strangers do in the deep south.. almost, and there is a caution (primarily emotional as I perceive it) involved that is not in the south.

I found Californian strangers to be.. a thoroughly negative bunch, but .. I have heard (never lived there) that both San Francisco and San Diego are different in that respect. Had an aunt that lived in SD for a great deal of her life, and she lived there because of the people. I never experienced it though. Most of my California living time was spent in the vicinity of LA.

I think there are several factors that are involved in this as well. I have also noticed a regional variance in .. levels of self focus, and that varies not only east west, but north south. I think that has a bearing on talkability toward strangers, and there is also a noticeable difference in large city mentality and small city, and .. I hate to use country, it is more less populated that has to do with talkability as well. Curiously to me, that last one is not a gradient I would have expected. The folks that don't live around a whole lot of other people are LESS likely than large city people to talk to strangers, but the small city folks talk more to them.

Interesting subject btw.

We got you beat, we got you beat (yeah!) wegotyoubeat!

[eideteker.livejournal.com]

People in the Northeast are the most taciturn. I assure you. My gf, who is a New Englander though she be of New Jersey stock, had quite a shock when she went Down South with me for the first time. Now, she's unusual in that she strikes up conversations with people all the time (it's how we met, in fact), at least up here. So she was surprised just how friendly everyone was, and polite. It's worst in New York City, where you Just Don't Talk. In fact, the nycnobody community was founded based on the idea that we probably all see each other in the city all the time but never ever speak in person, just online. Faceless, nameless in the crowd.

[ex-friedrich47.livejournal.com]

I think that New York City is a lot different from the rest of the Northeast. My mom is a Connecticut yankee and fits that closed, apparently "snobby" mold. In both NYC and Boston, however, people are very talkative with strangers. Sometimes this is not in a nice way. Boston takes the prize for rude waitresses in my opinion. The customers seem to love that saucy style. My hunch is that the difference in the cities is not just the closer quarters but the presence of ethnic Irish, Italian, Hispanic backgrounds which encourage a more extroverted personality.

I also think that there is a difference between behavior toward "strangers" on public transport and the extent to which people actually "befriend" you. I often have conversations with strangers in cities while keeping my distance as far as details like where I live or my name.

[sunshyncat.livejournal.com]

That really surprises me. I've found that midwesterners strike up conversations with anyone who is in close proximity to them, especially out in farm country. My dad (an Illinois native) is like that. San Diegans do that too. Perhaps city folk in the midwest are different?

My experience living on both coasts

[sunshyncat.livejournal.com]

New Yorkers and Jersey people will talk, but the question is whether or not you really want them to. Westerners are friendly (often in a phony way), Easterners are genuine (often in a painfully blunt way). Where do you think midwesterners fit in that equation?

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

Here in the Silicon Valley area of California, strangers talk to each other quite a bit while in lines at stores, but everyone is always in such a hurry that you'd better make it quick! And, of course, we yell at each other from within our cars, too. It doesn't seem to me that people are friendlier overall than in my native Midwest, but it's hard to tell because I was a lot younger then, and also times and people (besides me) have changed. *shrug*

Chicago always did seem much "colder" to me than the Twin Cities. The contrast might be related to big urban city vs two smaller towns within a sprawling metro area, I don't know.

I personally vary between being talkative (sometimes initiating conversation) and silent, depending on a variety of factors. I've made friends on airplanes! :)

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

You're right, there is a distinction between talking with people you don't know, and actually making friends with them. I'm pretty much talking about having conversations with people.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Midwesterners: It's all about the small-talk? I don't know.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

I hadn't thought of the difference between friendly and talkative, though that's an issue I've thought about in other contexts or other times.

[rivendweller.livejournal.com]

I've traveled some on business. One of the friendliest, nicest towns was...
ta da .... NYC. I went out by myself touring on foot through Central Park and on the bus and subway. Total strangers gave me directions, very politely, everywhere I went.

People are extremely friendly up here in the Sierras. The East Bay was really nice, too. San Francisco not so much. The least friendly place I found... BART trains (Bay Area Rapid Transit). The commuters are unbelievably rude. They hate it when people talk on the train. Since I'm a blabbermouth... well, you get the picture.

[i.livejournal.com]

this has changed over time as well, at least here in AZ. as more people have migrated from the terrified-of-strangers cities to here, it is more and more likely that someone will hurry by and pretend they didn't hear you say hello.