a legacy?

[low_delta]

Do you ever dream of passing your knowledge or skills to your children?

My dad is an artist. He paints. He started painting full-time when I was about six, I think. As a kid, I was a good artist. I inherited some talent, and developed some interest (and therefore practiced). When I got into high school, I didn't take any art classes my freshman year. I only had two electives, so I chose study hall and freshman shop class (for the overview of wood shop, metal shop, auto shop and drafting). Sophmore year, I used my electives on study hall (because I knew I wouldn't do my homework at home) and retaking the courses I failed the previous year. Junior year, I skipped the art classes again, for some reason. I think it was that point that my dad found out I hadn't taken any art classes. He was rather disapointed. I was a little surprised.

I wonder if my dad expected to go into his field. That wasn't going to happen. I saw the difficulties up close. And in hindsight, I'm not sure I'd have been cut out for that line of work anyway - but that's a different story. It seems common that dads want their sons to carry on in their line of work. I was reading not long ago, where (Python) Michael Palin's father was a banker, and expected his son to go into banking as well. But why? I can certainly understand it if the father had spent the better part of a lifetime developing a set of skills, and wanted to pass them down to his son. There are all kinds of reasons for this. For one, his son could be more successful, not having to learn it all from scratch. There's also the desire to leave a legacy. But what can be passed down from father to son when the line of work is banking? Nothing but the ability to say, "I come from a long line of bankers." Whoopee.

So how did my dad feel about my disinclination to get an education in artmaking? I don't really know. Nor do I know why he might have been disappointed. Did he really want me to go into the field, or did he want me to have a certain set of experiences that was similar to his, just so we could relate on a certain level? Like in banking, I don't feel there was a whole lot he could have taught me about painting. It's mostly practice.

Lately, though, there's been a new factor. He's printing using a centuries old process. He's been doing it for well over twenty years. He's learned a lot, but he's still learning. It's quite a bit of skill, and he doesn't want it to disappear. So now he's got something he needs to pass on. I wonder if he worries he won't be able to teach me everything he knows. I wonder if he worries that I won't keep printing after he's gone.

Comments

[ravenfeather.livejournal.com]

Is this something you can talk to him about? My father and I have a very poor relationship, and it shocked me when he was upset that I didn't CHOOSE to stay in the area he lives in, and start a greenhouse business, to compete with the two that were already there. He took it personally that I would not want to live in the backwoods "womenarebarefootandpregnant" location he chose; close to him.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what there is to talk about. The only areas are his feelings about where I went with my life, and me continuing his work.

I wouldn't say that he is disappointed that I didn't go into his field. He's a pretty understanding guy. I'm sure the surprise was initial. I might be curious about it, though. I think I said, at one point, why I didn't want to paint for a living. I'm not really sure how he felt about that.

I'm not sure there's much to say about me continuing his work. I will endeavor to print, but I predict that the amount that I do will be disappointing to him. I'll have my work cut out for me in just continuing to sell his work.

Interesting that your father expected you to start your own business in that backwoods area. I wonder how he feels (or would feel) about your love of plants. That's similar to my feeling about art. I love it and try to practice it, but not as a profession.

[ravenfeather.livejournal.com]

He knows about my plant love, I got it in part from both of my parents. He knows that I enjoy it.. but why he thought I was or would be willing to "take on" an established backwoods mindset (the same one he has by the way, and that I have been bucking since I was a small girl) to be close to a man who is abusive (although I know he doesn't think of himself that way) toward me was beyond my understanding. He still takes it as a personal rejection of him. In a way, I suppose it was, but with peripheral rejections added to it.

[shoo.livejournal.com]

I found this a little surprising Kev. I thought you and your dad were very close and you would have talked to him about it already.

Maybe it's related to wanting to live longer than we are allowed.

I know my mom is a HUGE reader and artist. My sisters and I are artistic and do what we can in life to nurture that side, but reading makes me to relaxed and I fall asleep. She is very disappointed in that. (mainly because I write like a bafoon..lol) But I don't sound that stupid in person...Ö

For myself, I am glad my kids are discovering what it is they enjoy and go for it.
Now hubby on the other hand encourages them to join the armed forces like he did at 18. (but we won't talk about that)

Do you think it is a man thing?

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's a guy thing that we don't feel the need to talk about it. Some has been said already. Some is just understood. Some has not been.

Is it a man thing, that we expect our progeny to carry on our work? Possibly, but maybe it's just because of circumstances. Historically, mothers have only had "interests" to pass along, like reading or gardening. The skilled trades and the crafts have traditionally beloned to men. Such trades have declined in recent years, as women have moved into professional roles, so as population and employment have increased, this need to pass on a legacy has decreased. But, you might say that women are more nurturing, and men are more teaching, so women might exert less influence in that direction.

[emschin.livejournal.com]

I've been turning this over in my mind and have a few stray thoughts tho they haven't become real ideas and opinions. Most people have certain things in their lives that they enjoy a lot.
Maybe even feel defined by. While we recognize our children are separate and different from us, they also seem almost part of us and we like sharing things in common.

I think that traditional men seem to have more identity invested in their work that many women. I know a lot of people who found it harder to stop being "some profession" when they retired. They seem to be asking "who am I, if I'm not a CPA or lawyer, or Army".

And, then, in another direction, I don't know how many people cease to carry a part of their profession with them. A friend of mine who was an accountant keeps detailed "books" on her personal affairs via computer. She refigures her net worth every year, even tho it isn't great wealth.

I retain the trait of wanting definitions of things that I'm trying to work with. This was essential in using the IRS Code. I find it very helpful in many other things. When our scholarship document said we would include church members and their families, I wanted to know "who is a family member"? In-laws. Adopted?
Foster kids? But then I never had the dream that one of my children or grandchildren would grow up to be a little IRS employee.

Interesting thought!

[zaecus.livejournal.com]

My dad was a younger, if not youngest, son of a large family, and he was born in 1920, so he didn't have a life legacy to leave me except the ability to think, reason, and be responsible for yourself. He did have a fire extinguisher business that he started when I was still young, about eight or nine, but I think he always knew that, unless I changed a lot, it wasn't for me. My youngest half-sister (not his daughter) owns it now, with no ill feelings from me.

When he died, we had made our peace with each other. More than once when I was growing up, I had given him advice that he didn't take, and he'd seen how not taking it had been a bad idea. We talked about it once, and he told me that he knew it had worked the way I'd said it would, but he knew it wouldn't work that way for him. Basically, he knew I'd be a different man and do very different things from him. He also knew I'd think and reason and not blindly follow faith or the crowd, and that made him proud. That's what I want to pass on to my kids.

Well, that and some kickass psychic/psionic abilities. ;->

Hi! Finally wandered in here from piperdawn's journal. I'm going to add you to my reading list unless you object. You don't have to return the favor, and I'll understand completely if you do, read a bit, realize it's not for you, and drop me back off again. I'm not really mainstream at all, and things can get really thick really quick on my journal.

There are many things in my life that I've had to let go of, but I'm glad that me and my dad were right with each other when he died.

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Passing on a business itself is another kind of legacy to pass on, that I hadn't thought of. It is certainly a valid urge. My dad won't pass on a business, so much as its assets. I'll basically have to start a new business to sell his artwork.

I'm glad you made your peace with your dad. I'm glad I don't have to make peace with mine, but I might have to see about laying to rest some... curiosities.

I don't mind at all if anyone adds me. It's bed time, so I'll try to check out your journal tomorrow. Thanks for coming by.

[zaecus.livejournal.com]

Well, making peace has become a cliche, I guess. We didn't really have any ill-feelings or disagreements to resolve. We'd just never talked about some of the things that might be important to get out in the open.