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rambling anger, issues, disclosure
Feb. 16th, 2004 10:58 pmOnce, I thought something an LJ friend had said to another could have been construed as rude. I didn't know if it really was rude, but I decided that people make mistakes, and I'd want a friend to point it out if I made a mistake, so I sent her an e-mail. I said something to the effect of, "I have no idea if what I saw was the whole story, but I thought I'd warn you just in case..."
I was unprepared for the level of anger that she replied with. Holy shit, was she mad. I can't even describe it. All I could do was offer her a half-assed apology and try to explain that I didn't assume anything and was just making sure... blahblahblah.
A week or so later (yeah, I'm that way), I worked out some things in my head, and decided to send her another message. I wrote something out, then I called up my original message, just to verify what I had said. I was horrified to find that she was right. My message did not include the words to indicate that I was pointing her *possible* error out, *just in case*. The tone of the message was definitely, "hey, that was rude." My heart just sank.
So I sent her a more hearfelt apology and explanation, and didn't hear back from her.
Sometimes I wonder how I make it through life. How often do I say or do things that are totally wrong, but nobody says anything? I'm starting to appreciate that. >:-( I mean, if I don't learn of my mistakes how can I correct them or avoid making them again? But there comes a point at which I don't want to deal with my fuck-ups, and I don't feel that learning about them would help. But if this is what it takes to get me to that point, I imagine that many other people have felt that way all along. Which would explain why they don't want to point out *my* failures.
I've always had a problem with that Golden Rule (even though I didn't realize it). What I want others to do for me, is not necessarily what they want done for them. So they end up angry at me, while I think I'm the good guy. And I can't figure out what just happened. And I can't figure out why I'm such a nice guy, yet people don't like me.
I was unprepared for the level of anger that she replied with. Holy shit, was she mad. I can't even describe it. All I could do was offer her a half-assed apology and try to explain that I didn't assume anything and was just making sure... blahblahblah.
A week or so later (yeah, I'm that way), I worked out some things in my head, and decided to send her another message. I wrote something out, then I called up my original message, just to verify what I had said. I was horrified to find that she was right. My message did not include the words to indicate that I was pointing her *possible* error out, *just in case*. The tone of the message was definitely, "hey, that was rude." My heart just sank.
So I sent her a more hearfelt apology and explanation, and didn't hear back from her.
Sometimes I wonder how I make it through life. How often do I say or do things that are totally wrong, but nobody says anything? I'm starting to appreciate that. >:-( I mean, if I don't learn of my mistakes how can I correct them or avoid making them again? But there comes a point at which I don't want to deal with my fuck-ups, and I don't feel that learning about them would help. But if this is what it takes to get me to that point, I imagine that many other people have felt that way all along. Which would explain why they don't want to point out *my* failures.
I've always had a problem with that Golden Rule (even though I didn't realize it). What I want others to do for me, is not necessarily what they want done for them. So they end up angry at me, while I think I'm the good guy. And I can't figure out what just happened. And I can't figure out why I'm such a nice guy, yet people don't like me.
