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Feb. 6th, 2001
One more rung
Feb. 6th, 2001 11:47 pmI’m trying to get my life back on track.
Since I’ve met Cyn, I haven’t felt alone, but the rest of my life is still not great. I thought things would turn around once I found someone to share my life, but I realize now, that it is a long ladder to climb.
I get depressed when some of "real life" hits me. Like finding out how far behind I am in paying my bills. Or having to pay $110 to get my car fixed (and it shouldn’t have cost me anything - and I hurt my hand trying to fix it myself). Just when I think things are going great, this stuff hits me, and I realize that *those* things are going great, but other things aren’t. So I just have to remember the good parts, and keep working on the bad parts.
Like those three days that my car wouldn’t run, I couldn’t function completely on my own, and I was starting to despair. But there are people around who are willing to help me. I just have to look for them. sometimes I have to try a few of them before I can find one who can offer what I need, but it works out in the end. This past weekend, I made it to where I needed to go.
Where would I be if I had given up, thinking that no one could help me, or that I couldn’t solve it on my own? I’d be wallowing in my own pity. I’d be fucked.
So anyway, back to the story... I’ve got a lot of difficult shit to take care of. It’s gonna be rough sometimes, but I’ll tackle it one step at a time. I’m in a different place now than I was six months ago. That alone gives me power.
Since I’ve met Cyn, I haven’t felt alone, but the rest of my life is still not great. I thought things would turn around once I found someone to share my life, but I realize now, that it is a long ladder to climb.
I get depressed when some of "real life" hits me. Like finding out how far behind I am in paying my bills. Or having to pay $110 to get my car fixed (and it shouldn’t have cost me anything - and I hurt my hand trying to fix it myself). Just when I think things are going great, this stuff hits me, and I realize that *those* things are going great, but other things aren’t. So I just have to remember the good parts, and keep working on the bad parts.
Like those three days that my car wouldn’t run, I couldn’t function completely on my own, and I was starting to despair. But there are people around who are willing to help me. I just have to look for them. sometimes I have to try a few of them before I can find one who can offer what I need, but it works out in the end. This past weekend, I made it to where I needed to go.
Where would I be if I had given up, thinking that no one could help me, or that I couldn’t solve it on my own? I’d be wallowing in my own pity. I’d be fucked.
So anyway, back to the story... I’ve got a lot of difficult shit to take care of. It’s gonna be rough sometimes, but I’ll tackle it one step at a time. I’m in a different place now than I was six months ago. That alone gives me power.