One more rung

[low_delta]

I’m trying to get my life back on track.

Since I’ve met Cyn, I haven’t felt alone, but the rest of my life is still not great. I thought things would turn around once I found someone to share my life, but I realize now, that it is a long ladder to climb.

I get depressed when some of "real life" hits me. Like finding out how far behind I am in paying my bills. Or having to pay $110 to get my car fixed (and it shouldn’t have cost me anything - and I hurt my hand trying to fix it myself). Just when I think things are going great, this stuff hits me, and I realize that *those* things are going great, but other things aren’t. So I just have to remember the good parts, and keep working on the bad parts.

Like those three days that my car wouldn’t run, I couldn’t function completely on my own, and I was starting to despair. But there are people around who are willing to help me. I just have to look for them. sometimes I have to try a few of them before I can find one who can offer what I need, but it works out in the end. This past weekend, I made it to where I needed to go.

Where would I be if I had given up, thinking that no one could help me, or that I couldn’t solve it on my own? I’d be wallowing in my own pity. I’d be fucked.

So anyway, back to the story... I’ve got a lot of difficult shit to take care of. It’s gonna be rough sometimes, but I’ll tackle it one step at a time. I’m in a different place now than I was six months ago. That alone gives me power.

Comments

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

I completely and totally understand your predicament, all too well. As I've said, it's all a Balancing Act. Be glad you have a safety net for when you fall!

Prioritizing is an enormous challenge. But, if most of the really big, important stuff is good, somehow all those little annoying details that cause so much anxiety *can* be handled. We can surmount it all, I know we can.

~Seren

down with ladders and automobiles

[umzio.livejournal.com]

It is possible to live without climbing any ladders and if someone wants you to jump through hoops you can ignore them. My life is coming together again and it is without a car, and my suburb probably isn't much different than your suburb. We have a poor excuse for public transportation, so I use a bicycle, and it is making me stronger. 150 miles so far this year! Once in a while, I do have to use a taxi or ask for a ride home, but I know that I will always be able to get where I want to go. A simpler way of life can be much better.