family values

These are from our local paper.

A Cedarburg man was trying to get his son to stop from backing their truck out of the driveway in September, and as he went around to the driver's side of the car, the boy got out, punched his dad in the face and pushed him in the chest. The son was found walking down the road nearby and fled when approached by officers.

Upset about having to do chores around the house. an 19-year-old Cedarburg woman kicked and hit her stepfather, kicked, hit and choked her mother, and then kicked and choked her brother. The mother was unconscious and the woman was holding a knife when officers arrived.

While visiting her town of Cedarburg sister, a woman asked her 24-year-old nephew to turn off the lights at a chapel at the rear of the property. The woman then watched as the man walked over to the garage, stood there a few mintues, walked over to her car, opened the door and leaned in. She went outside and asked the man what he was doing. He quickly closed the door and went upstairs to his bedrom. Missing from the woman's car was a bank deposit bag from her place of employment containing nearly $1000 in cash along with a bunch of checks.

A Grafton woman arrived home to find her 17-year-old daughter and several friends at their house during school hours. The friends left and the daughter went upstairs to retrieve the car keys. The woman refused to give her daughter the keys and the daughter pushed her into a wall, kicked her and hit her with a flashlight and threw a pizza at her.

cleaning up

Opening scene, the room is littered with toys. Bert wades through the mess, finds Ernie happily playing with a large plastic fire engine.

Bert: "Look at this mess! Ernie, don't you think it's time to put all these toys away?"

Ernie: (looks up from the fire engine) "Well yes, but I didn't get all the toys out."

Bert: "Yes, but you got most of the toys out."

Ernie: "Wellllll, how about I put most of the toys away?"

Bert: "Fine. You put most of the toys away, and I'll pick up the rest." (leaves)

Ernie: "Okay .... Let's see, how about I put away all the fire engines?

(picks up the engine and starts to leave, stops)

But there's still a lot of toys left. How about I put away all the big toys? Is this a big toy? This? This?

(He starts to examine all the other toys, which are all rather small, until--)

Here's a big toy! The fire engine! Okay!

(again starts to leave, stops)

But there's still a lot of toys left. Let's see, how about I put away all the red toys? How about that? Let's see, is this a red toy? How about this?

(picks up toy dog)

Kind of pinkish maybe, but ...

(keeps looking through toys, none of which are red, until--)

Here's a red toy! The fire engine!

(again starts to leave, but--)

But's there's still a lot of toys left. Hmm ... how about ... I know! How about all the toys with wheels? How about that? Let's see, wheels? This thing have wheels?

(picks up toy horse)

Horse have wheels?

(throws it down, continues until--)

The fire engine! See the wheels? Okay!

(same as before, stops)

But's there's still a lot of toys left. Hmm ... how about ladders? How about all the toys with ladders?

(again he searches through the pile of toys)

This have ladders? This? The fire engine! The fire engine has ladders! Okay! Yes I'm certainly putting away a lot of toys."

(picks up the engine, starts off. Bert comes in, sees the remaining toys)

Bert: "Ernie--ERNIE! I thought you told me you were going to put most of the toys away!"

Ernie: "I am, Bert. I'm putting away all the fire engines,--"

Bert: "Yeah?"

Ernie: "--all the big toys,--"

Bert: "Yeah?"

Ernie: "--all the red toys,--"

Bert: "Ye--" (he suddenly realizes)

Ernie: "--all the toys with wheels, and all the toys with ladders. Yessir, I'm really putting away the toys."

(Ernie marches off, leaving Bert groaning amidst the huge pile of toys still left.)