how to remove a countertop

1. Close shutoffs under sink.
2. Remove cold supply line.
3. Take supply line off hot. Discover faulty shutoff.
4. Reconnect supply line.
5. Shut water off at main. Discover faulty main shutoff. Place bucket under shutoff.
6. Remove hot water shutoff at sink, and replace.
7. Shut off water leading to main with every ounce of strength.
8. Realize you have no idea how to remove main shutoff valve.
9. Remove valve innards and go to harware store.
10. Ask employee for washer.
11. Get informed that you need teflon packing string. Buy washer and string and go home.
12. Put valve back together with new washer and packing string.
13. Turn water back on.
14. Find leak. Remember other washer.
15. Turn water back off.
16. Disassemble valve. Reassemble valve with forgotten washer.
17. Turn water back on.
18. Find leak.
19. Turn water back off.
20. Disassemble valve. Find washer is now broken.
21. Return to hardware store. Get o-ring to replace broken washer. Return home.
22. Reassemble valve and hope for the best.
23. Turn water back on.
24. Disconnect drain plumbing from disposal.
25. Turn power off to disposal and dishwasher.
26. Start to remove clips from underneath heavy cast iron sink before realizing they're holding it not down but up.
27. Brace sink up with boards. Lift it up and balance it on the edge of the counter.
28. Remove faucet.
29. Carry 100 pound sink to basement (just in case).
30. Pry counter out from wall. Use hand saw to cut through thin sections. Pull smaller side out from under door molding. Carry both sections to alley for trash pickup.

See how easy that is?